Sunday, June 20, 2010

Somebody bad stole de wedding bell.

It's a video of just the record player, riveting.

I have attended quite a few weddings this summer/spring. Sadly I have not seen one wedding dress that I thought was attractive in the least. I haven't in years but I am a tough one to please, admittedly.
The most heinous dresses have recently walked down the aisle. Have we all forgot to consider body shape and structure. Neglecting to select a dress to complement and flatter your figure it the most devastating mistake one could make. "It's all in the fit."
Please note stark white makes you look like fondant icing, I cant think of a soul who enjoys fondant, or at least one I would associate with. Eggshell or cream suits skin tones exponentially better.
This must be the decade of cap sleeves, enough already. Is there no one bold enough to try a 3/4's or, dare I say, a lace long sleeve? (think 1920's gala.) How is it all brides have shunned the idea of seasons. You don't wear short sleeve full length dresses in the winter- period.
The Mermaid, and or Flamingo Dancer cut is an atrocity to the craft dressmakers.
I have come to the conclusion everyone forgets how important foot ware is, regardless if your shoes can not be seen all the time, this does not mean you should dismiss the impact a stunning heel can make. Personally, the shoe trumps all. I know this is a stance not support by many, but I am firm in this opinion no matter.
And if I hear another 'soon to be wife' say "I got this dress because I felt like a princess!" I will projectile vomit all over your ruched ball gown with the applique encrusted with crystals. There is some psychological implications that need to be addressed before you can be deemed competent enough you agree to such a binding union.
Possibly, I am cruel to say such things on one of the most important days in these sweet girls lives. They all looked stunning, happy, & glowing, to say they were blushing brides is a correct cliché. Regardless, I call them as I seem them. this epidemic can not be ignored or aloud to continue. one of two things have got to be happening. Either they are unable to make rational decisions on attire, because of the overwhelming sensation which comes with the knowledge this inevitable day has arrived OR our culture, as a whole, is horribly tasteless. half & half maybe?

I don't have the time to go into the music choices that have been made recently. All I can do is shake my head and bit my tongue.


  1. well i thought my wedding was pretty bad ass. and that my wedding dress was the greatest dress ever to be worn. sooo.....there.

  2. Your dress was a breath of fresh air. your boldness with feathers was unexpected, must like yourself. Lisa Kay did magnificant with the fit. This is no way directed towards you and you know it. you must admit though, have you seen any good dresses as of late? (just wait when/ if i get married I will end up being all that I hate, decked out in tulle to the hilt.)

    I posted a comment earlier and it didn't work. hope this ins't repetive

  3. there is truth in that about 98% of the dresses i see suck balls. although, i feel our circle of friends will break this sad theme of fugly weddings. which is why i want everyone to get married. not for the marriage part; for the dress.

  4. True, true, you and now Nat are pioniers. our small and exclusive group is the only chance for salvege what has turned into a nightmare of nepual 'not to do's.' I'm glad we are all on board with the plan, comence phase 2, part B