Monday, March 23, 2009

Victim of Marketing

Gullible isn't what I would call it. Extremely hopeful and trusting is more like it. Reverting back to my childhood days, to the glowing box who held my coveted 7 channels, I resorted to infomercials. One could only watch Pete the Magic Dragon and The Little Mermaid so many times, everyone has their limit.

Infomercials kept me entertained for hours, they still do actually. I asked for a Jack Lalanne Power Juicer for the last two year for Christmas (yet still didn't get it). I am an avid believer in the "Set it and Forget it, Rotisserie Roaster" and the "Mouse, Ab Roller". It looks like it will actually work, if it was regularly used after purchasing.

Here's were it all began.... with The Banjo Minnow. It came out in 1996 that would make me 6 going on 7. Basically Cabela's put on a fishing commercial worth a solid 2 hours of my young life, and I probably sat through it over 10 times over the course of a few years. I knew it by heart, I could quote it all, and I would sing the theme song while riding my sherbet colored bike down the street. I BEGGED my mother, as if it was a life saving kidney transplant. Have I ever been fishing? No. Is my father an avid fisherman, yet left me behind? No. Does anyone in extended Family fish? Nada. So where did this obsession in a 6 year old stem from? The man, Babe Winkelman, the man with the vest and skiff, the host of "Good Fishing" and the Banjo Minnow Creator.Babe said it would work, and I believed him. ohh I believed him as if it was doctrine. And I had to get my hands on one. The Banjo Minnow consumed my tinny, perfectly spherical head from morning till night.

I never did get my Banjo Minnow Fishing lure, and I looked on there website just today and it stated-
"DM Products, Inc. (PINKSHEETS: DMPD), which has the exclusive marketing rights to the Banjo Minnow Fishing Lure System, announced today that Banjo Minnow sales for the 3rd quarter for 2007 have increased approximately 123% as compared to the previous 2nd quarter of 2007."
I could have been one of those statistics!

Anyways, I moved on to bigger and better things. I finally talked my mom into buying something off the TV when I was 9. It was a stain remover of some sorts and I'm pretty sure bubbles was in the name. Sadly, it didn't work, confirming my mother suspension of products hawked on TV, and sealing my fate of never purchasing something from an infomercial again.

Fast forward to now-
The Smooth Away has been bouncing around from station to station for some time now. Interupting my regular shows, but with no complaints, I was curious. I could say I was always perplexed by how this accomplishment was met with no pain. Being trained in the form of waxing and all other systems of hair removal, I couldn't see how it was possible... For some reason or another, they sell Smooth Away in Target, once again you have never failed me yet, my dearest upscale supermarket. So naturally I bought one, for 10 dollars you would too! Don't judge me... Then booked it home and took my new item for a test run... IT WORKED! IT WORKED FANTASTIC. I immediately texted everyone I knew who would take an interest in this, i.e. Phillipi and Heesch. it was incredible I cant lie, I love the smooth away, all in all its just a really fine grade sandpaper, but it still works.

And once again I am a sucker for pictures, I can't even order food from a menu with out pictures, I always just take our host advice if there are none provided. So now MAC cosmetics emails, and they just launched thier SugarSweet line of makeup.... and I just had too. I can't help myself, it all looks to cute, so the deed is done, and a fun package is coming in the mail to me full of pigment treats.

How could I say no? I'm only human

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