Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Let's Get Directions

I ventured to South Coast Mall. I don't particularly enjoy going to this gold paved, mecca of all haute couture. It's one of those places where you have to get dressed up to go shopping, which today I didn't. Looks and glances from the passing bourgeoisie patrons were hinting that I shouldn't have made it past the velvet ropes into the Emerald City. This place would be incredible if the money tree in your backyard was in full bloom. But alas, the winter was harsh and my currency fern is in the ICU indefinitely. I had a conversation today with an Employee of H&M about where to find men's clothing, I was in the 'all woman store' of H&M, they have two at this mall. Yes, "separate but equal" is still in full swing.
This is our conversation, verbatim.....

Moi- Excuse me, where is the Men's H&M?

Employee- Sigh* Ok, it can get a little tricky. You go out of the store to your left, make sure you go past the Crystal Court, and then over the Bridge of the Gardens, to South Coast Home and its on the 3rd Level.

Moi- So this Crystal Court you mentioned, how will i know when I find it?

Employee- Oh, Because its not the Carousel Court, if you are by the Carousel Court your way off, but that's full of Balloons, not crystals. they are kinda hard to get mixed up.

Moi- If I get lost I'll ask the white rabbit. (I was mocking Alice in Wonderland there, since his description of the landscape of this mall was so outlandish, and that was the last movie I saw in theaters. I didn't like Alice in Wonderland. But it was decided by all that the Cheshire Cat's coloring was marvelous. Clearly the Employee didn't catch on.)

Employee- Oh, I'm sorry, the white rabbit only comes here seasonally for the kids at Easter, you miss him by a week. So sorry!

Moi- Looks like I'm on my own then.

Employee- Good Luck!

To shorten this story, I made it, quite a trek though. I grabbed a mall directory, yep they print theirs out here, and there was a Jewel Court not a 'Crystal Court.' The Bridge of the Gardens in which was completely covered by assortments of different flowers, a literal floating garden in the sky. the legitstics of this intrigued me for some time. how did they manage to factor in the water weight for the foliage? wonder how much give this bridge has to offer, where would be the safest place to be on a bridge in an earthquake, blah blah blahh. The Bridge of the Gardens crosses over a 8 lane, high traffic road and into another smaller mall that I have dedicated The Man Cave. This smaller mall was more geared towards the men folk, and men oriented stores. plus the spill over that doesn't fit in the major mall, but if you need to get back to the main event, all you need to do is go "up the airy mountain, down the rushy glen"...

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